Bull Shit With Holly

So here we are! Let's talk about what's been going on with me. In case you haven't been keeping up and hadn't noticed my serious drop in productivity as of late that would be because I have been dealing with some very bad health issues. We found out I was pregnant and less than 24 hours later I began miscarrying. The Very Short version of this is I am still carrying one living fetus. I have made it to roughly 10 weeks now and I have been in complete agony for about 6 of those. I have been to the ER Three times, twice for bleeding and this last time for severe abdominal bruising.

We are having huge issues getting me in with an OBGYN, my insurance is giving me the run around, they won't expedite my application without an official due date from an OB and we can't find an OB who will see me without either the Insurance card in hand or 250 bucks. Well With all the health problems we are barely able to feed the kids because of meds and fiance having to take off of work because of me so I't not like we have 250 dollars to just toss about so we're stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Anywho you are pretty much caught up. This rant will be specifically on my last ER visit and what I am now going through because of this. By the way.... If ever you are in the North Carolina area and happen to be in the Wayne county area and are in need of emergency attention... keep going... Just go to the next town because apparently Wayne Memorial is hell bent on Killing everyone! I have been to my share of horrible hospitals and I have met my share of asshole doctors but these people take the cake. I don't fucking care what anyone says, the Bitch I keep getting got her certification from a Cracker Jack box!

Thanks to her I have spent the better part of today shaking with rage while simultaneously sobbing uncontrollably and I will tell you why! This past Monday Night I was cleaning off the center island of my Kitchen, and without thinking I stretched a bit too far at the one bad corner we have and got a small scratch on my belly. It stung a bit but honestly I though nothing of it. I went about my business of the night and went to bed. The next Morning when I woke however I noticed that tiny little scratch that had only been a tiny annoyance of a sting the night before was burning like a bitch. So I checked on it and was slightly surprised by what I saw. My entire belly had turned a light blue over night. (caution following image may be unsuitable for people who don't like chub Comments relevance will be understood by end of post)

I took the picture and sent it to my fiancee and sister to get their opinion if they thought it looked blue and if my sister ever had it happen in any of hers. Everyone kept yelling for me to go to the ER but I didn't want to. Both my previous experience had been bad, resulted in nothing remotely helpful and just ended up giving me additional annoyances of pain like UTIs from ignorant nurses who either don't bother to clean anything before they Cath a girl or shred you up because they're too incompetent to be able to find your damn bladder! yeahhhh... No thanks...

But when I checked again 2 hours later This is what my belly looked like? 

I knew I didn't have a choice...

So Fiancee RUSHED home, we dropped the kids off with one of his co-workers... who, by the way, I wish would have bothered to get dressed for the occasion... Or rather... at least Look like she didn't make a special attempt to not be properly dressed for my fiance when we dropped them off... Like.... oh Hi.... We forgot to bring an extra pair of pants for Serenity if she has an accident... But that's ok... it seems like if she has one those shorts your wearing will fir her just fine! -_- (Kay sorry little off track, I'm in pain and a wee bit cranky)

Well we get to the ER and they take their normal 7 gallons of blood and let me sit for an hour.... Finally The woman comes in and tells me she thinks I am fine. It just looks like "normal skin discoloration" that can happen during pregnancy. and she thinks this because I also have it on my arm... Aaaaand she points to that lovely spot on my arm I have circled in the first photo...

Um..... Now I know I am not a doctor....But uhhh.... I am pretty sure that spot on my arm right there.... Is... Now wait for it.. and don't interrupt me, let me explain my reasoning here..., A FUCKING FRECKLE! And I believe, in my totally unprofessional opinion Dear Lady that, that little spot is a FUCKING FRECKLE.... because It's been there.... like.... 29 Years 4 Months.... You know roughly... not accounting extra days for leap years...

Also... And again... I freely admit, I am no Doctor.... but... My freckle of doom? it is a brown color.... My stomach? yeah that's more... BRUISED SMURF YOU FUCKING TWAT WAFFLE! So! Unless you are telling me I am pregnant with a DAMNED SMURF I SHOULD NOT BE FUCKING BLUE YOU BITCH!

Le Sigh

Now shall we add to this absolutely unbelievable lack of care? She decides to inform me that on my previous visits they DID find I have an Ovarian Cyst on the right side which is probably the cause of my pain and a whole bunch of small cysts in my uterus. Okaaaay... This was News to me.... Why would they fail to mention that!? I mean Hello!? Don't you think MAYBE some of my symptoms could be explained by these things? Don't you think MAYBE it MIGHT be  relevant to why I keep having threatened miscarriages!? It didn't Occur to ANYONE I MIGHT want to know this!?

To top that off she tells me that they're totally harmless to the pregnancy! THE FUCKEN NERVE! or ignorance, probably ignorance. Go google Cysts and Pregnancy and see what you find I dare you! Wanna know what I found? Ovarian Cysts that burst during pregnancy can cause infection and kill both mother and child or cause serious health problems for baby. The uterine cysts are usually Fibroids. Only about 1 in a 1,000 woman go on to have perfectly healthy babies when they are present. Most often they cause miscarriages, premature labor and deformity because they take up room the baby needs to grow correctly in the uterus. Often Leaves mothers infertile. Yep, totally nothing to worry about. Not a damn thing, why should I sweat the small stuff right?

Finally, after explaining my situation with my insurance I asked her if she knew of an OB and could refer me to them to get a due date so I could get my insurance card. She writes down The number of place and tells me to call in the morning.

So Bright and early Yesterday Morning I called. After explaining my situation the receptionist got my information. She told me she needed to call over to Wayne Memorial and get the file on my visits and the referal. She'd call me as soon as they faxed them over and They'd get me right in. As of 11 am today I still had not heard back and so I called them. I was, and not so kindly informed, I might add, that "The Nurse Practitioner who reviewed my file at the hospital decided it was not an emergency and therefore she would not be referring me, I could go to the Health Clinic" I was shocked and upset to say the least. I tried to explain, the ONLY number they gave me was there's they told me to call THEM I had no one else to call. She informed me to hunt down the nearest health clinic and hung up on me, so much for southern hospitality. I cried for hours. I still don't know if I was more upset than angry or angry than upset... all I do know is 2 panic attacks and Xanax later all I am left with is rage. And before you judge me on taking my medicine I am doing as told. Better to take the meds than to work myself into another bleed.

In conclusion... I MIGHT need a second opinion....


  1. Holy Hell Holly!!! Wow that would totally require me to hurt someone. .I admire your restraint :) umm..I have no idea what to say I wish I had 250 I would send it to you. Maybe try medicaid or something until you get finances worked out. I wish I could be more help but I'm drawlin a blank?? I hope its nothing serious and that you and the little one are safe and healthy ♥.. BTW love the new blog

    1. OMG. Well thank you for that wonderful though but that is not the point of this post. DON'T ANY ONE OF YOU SEND ME A DIME! THAT IS NOT WHY I WROTE THIS! I AM NOT OUT FOR ANYONE'S MONEY!!!!!! AND OMG I FRICKEN MEAN THAT! I just need a place to vent and some moral support. You guys are awesome. All I need from you is an open ear.... or eyeball... And if you have a God maybe send him a prayer for me! <3

  2. Whew, boy that stinks! Not sure what to say other than I'm glad I don't live anywhere near that hospital. I would write the longest letter to the head honcho of the Hospital. AND I would see if there was a way to get it on the news....

  3. This is NC. Even if I did write that letter the kid would be a college graduate before they got around to doing something about it -_- I mean I thought I was lazy and slow... These people make me look like an over achiever on my WORST day.

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